On notice

Dear Quinn,

As you know, we reviewed your membership application with a great deal of skepticism, given your reputation as an anxious, needy perfectionist. However, your personal essay, along with the letters of recommendation from fellow authors [we now suspect they were written under duress] persuaded us that you had changed.

Now, we have been informed that you sent your publisher a long, rambling e-mail about your book title, right in the middle of her vacation. Then, you sent your poor editor three frantic emails in a row. Excessive e-mailing is a violation of the code of conduct and may be punishable by suspension, or even expulsion, from our esteemed group.

Get it together, Quinn. We’re watching.

The Association of Chill, Low-Maintenance Authors

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