My publisher went on vacation (again)

Date: August 25, 2019
Subject: Quick question

Hello, I have a question. What will happen to my book if I die before it gets published?

Please let me know.

Date: August 25, 2019
Subject: Re: Quick question

Oooooops, I just got your auto-reply. Sorry to bother you during your vacation!! You have definitely earned a break from Ylva — I imagine some of the other authors can be a bit high-maintenance.

However I don’t want to alarm you, so I should explain. Last night, I was lying awake thinking about all of the terrible things that might happen (like I do every night) when I suddenly realized: What if I get hit by a truck before the manuscript is finished? Will my book still be published?

Don’t worry—the risk is low. I feel fine, and I avoid adventure like the plague. I just want to make sure that absolutely nothing will prevent the book’s publication.

Of course, the answer can wait until you get back. (I hope)

Date: August 26, 2019
Subject: Re: Quick question

I’ve been thinking about my last email, and I’ve made a few decisions.

If anything happens to me, I would like you to publish the book posthumously. My editor is aware of my wishes concerning the final rounds of editing (specifically, it needs to be perfect). I trust her to complete the manuscript on my behalf.

You can send the royalties to my wife, or just keep them really. She’s not expecting much profit from the book, especially since I showed her my marketing plan and the anticipated expenses. (She doesn’t understand why the scrunchies need to be handmade, despite the obvious difference in quality in the prototypes we received. I explained that they’ll practically pay for themselves, but she remains skeptical.)

Date: August 26, 2019
Subject: Just thought of something else

If I am in a coma, please wait to see if I wake up first.  I’d hate to survive a traumatic experience only to find out I missed the book launch. 

Ideally, give it about six months, unless there is zero brain activity and my family is just clinging to false hope.

Okay that’s all for now. Hope you’re having a nice vacation.

Date: August 27, 2019
Subject: One more thing (important)

I just want you to know that I would never, ever ghost you or anyone at Ylva. If you ever email me, and I don’t respond within five hours, I HAVE BEEN MURDERED. If anyone tells you otherwise, they are probably guilty. Contact the police right away.

Date: August 27, 2019
Subject: Re: One more thing (important)

Just to clarify, I meant the American police. Thank you.

Leave a Reply