My publisher went on vacation

Date: May 23, 2019
Subject: Epic swag idea

Hi! I know you’re on vacation, but I have a marketing idea that I wanted to run by you when you get back. Specifically, I was wondering if we can include a promotional scrunchie with each copy of the book.

The scrunchies will have the logo that I commissioned for the book (did you receive it in my previous e-mail?) and the title of the book printed in a circle on both sides. Readers will wear the scrunchie, and their friends will ask where they got it — only to be informed that it’s a limited edition item that only comes with my book. Then, $$$$$.

Please let me know if this would be possible. I already ordered a test batch, but obviously I will hold off on future orders until I hear from you.

Date: May 27, 2019
Subject: Re: Epic swag idea

Hi again! After my previous email, I realized one small flaw in the scrunchie idea, namely that many lesbians have short hair.

Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely making the scrunchies, and they are going to be fabulous — but I’m thinking we should also distribute a 90s-themed item that short-haired women can enjoy, specifically snap bracelets with the title and logo.

Let me know what you think. Hope you are having a good vacation.

Makeup sample

Date: June 4, 2019
Subject: New marketing idea

I know you’re not back yet, but I had to tell you about this right away. I just received a makeup sample that includes the results of a survey about the product on the packaging (see attached image). I was thinking we could commission a survey about my book and print the results on the back cover.

As you know, I have expertise in this area. I’d be happy to design a sampling frame and survey instrument. I’d have to send the book to about 300 people to get a defendable margin of error, but I think I can sell it to my wife as an investment.

Date: June 7, 2019
Subject: Editor address

Hello again! I just have a quick question for you. I want to send my editor an Edible Arrangement, and I was wondering if you could give me her mailing address.

If you don’t think she’d be comfortable with me knowing where she lives (which to be honest I’d understand) maybe you could order the arrangement, and I could Venmo you? When you get back of course.

Date: June 7, 2019
Subject: Re: Editor address

I just did some research, and apparently they don’t have Venmo in Europe. Or Edible Arrangements. Please disregard my previous email.

Date: June 15, 2019
Subject: Sorry about all the emails

I’ve been feeling guilty about all the emails I sent during your vacation. Sometimes (all the time) when I’m excited, I get carried away. I’m really sorry.

None of the messages are technically urgent considering the book won’t be out until 2020, so if you want, you can just delete them all without reading. Sorry again.

Date: June 17, 2019
Subject: Welcome back!!

Welcome back from vacation!! I hope you had a great time.

I just wanted to know if you deleted all of the e-mails I sent you, as I suggested in my most recent e-mail. Because if so, I will re-send them on a staggered schedule over the next week. But if not, I don’t want to be a nuisance by sending the same messages twice.

Just let me know at your earliest convenience. Thanks!

Date: June 17, 2019
Subject: Re: Welcome back!!

I just got your auto-reply and realized that you’re getting back today, but you won’t be back on e-mail until June 18th.

My bad! I’ll check in with you tomorrow.

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